Costco Muffin Warning

Public service announcement:

You know those jumbo Costco muffins everybody loves so much? The ones cafes get away with selling for $1.50 by shucking on Saran wrap and calling them freshly baked? You’re envisioning ooey gooey chocolate chunks melting into the muffin as you read, I know it.

Stay away from the apple crumb muffins. Maybe you can eat a few crumbs if you have the metabolism of an alien, but apparently they’re 920 calories each. EACH. How it’s possible that one muffin has more calories than a McValue meal, I don’t know, but I do know that a dozen of those suckers are sitting on the counter taunting me right now. The frugal Asian mother in me doesn’t want to waste them, the health nut in me hyperventilates at the thought of eating another one.

This is the end of my announcement. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.